Alaska’s state motto is “North to the Future!” Learn the fascinating mottos of all 50 states here. What do you call 40 guys watching the Super Bowl on television? Sometimes the state nicknames and state slogans appear on license plates. Life is truly like a roller coaster, with its share of beautiful moments as well as tough days. Howard dies and waits in line for judgment. What’s a seven-course meal in North Dakota? _g1 = document.getElementById('g1-logo-mobile-inverted-img'); 49. When something changes, you’ll know you’re out of Nebraska. And 10,000,000,000,000 Mosquitoes * Mississippi: Come And Feel Better About Your Own State * Missouri: Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work * Montana: Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-Wing Crazies, And Very Little Else * Nebraska: Ask About Our State Motto Contest * Nevada: Whores and Poker! _g1 = document.getElementById('g1-logo-inverted-img'); $20.05. And the bouncer, that huge guy there, is also from St. Louis. “What are you doing?” asks the Nebraskan. What is the West Virginia state flower? What's funny in one state won't always be funny in another. When all directions start with “Go down Peachtree …” and include the phrase “When you see the Waffle House …”. I Got Yer ##$%##! Select State Mottos Alabama. CONNECTICUT: Way too close to New York. Live free or die, the motto of New Hampshire on its state quarter. Prom night. '”, “Actually,” said the man, “I’m from New Hampshire.”, “In that case,” the reporter grumbled, “the headline will be ‘Yankee Kills Family Pet.'”. A motto may be in any language, but Latin is the most used. The Detroit Lions. We recommend our users to update the browser. Below is a list of state mottos for all the states. This isn’t a motto, these are just two nouns with a conjunction in the middle. Arkansas: Litterasy Ain't Everthing. • Hope: Rhode Island, South Carolina, and Washington. A mechanic. What is the difference between Indiana sports fans and puppies? Funny Mottos, funny quotes and phrases. An Arkansas state trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-40. We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer) as we strive to provide site experiences for browsers that support new web standards and security practices. New Hampshire: Spend Your Money, Then Go Away And Leave Us Alone New Jersey: You Want A ##$%##! I moved to New York City for my health. Naturally, each one of them has their own own unique motto, with New Hampshire’s Live Free or Die being one of the most recognized one.However, some people pointed out that not all of them are as accurate as they could be. South Carolina has two state mottos. See more ideas about words, mottos to live by, me quotes. _g1.setAttribute('src', _g1.getAttribute('data-src') ); Many countries, cities, universities, and other institutions have mottos, as do families with coats of arms. Comment(s) If you wish to comment, please use the form below or contact me in some other way and I'll add it as soon as possible. var _g1; Do you have change for a dollar?”, The plebe snaps to attention and barks, “No, sir!”, Lewis Black on Boston traffic: “The last person to get across that town in under three hours was yelling, ‘The British are coming! It was once illegal to put a scoop of ice cream on cherry pie. Alaska: Jeez, it's Cold. When you call the front desk and say, “I’ve gotta leak in my sink,” and the person at the front desk says, “Go ahead.”, A man from Kansas City walks into a bar and asks, “Wanna hear a joke about people from St. Louis?”, The bartender says, “Listen, pal, I’m from St. Louis, and I won’t appreciate it. What do you call a Hawaiian murder mystery? What are the four seasons in Minnesota? State Mottos Alabama: Hell Yes, We Have Electricity Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong! Delaware: We Were the First, Damit, and Don't You Forget It! Your state motto marks the debut of Constitutionsplaining. Ronan Keating’s hit track, ‘Life is a Roller Coaster’, certainly puts a smile on my face. A European recently asked Americans to summarize their states in one sentence. Alabama: Yes, We Have Electricity. 15% Off with code JANUARYTREAT MAINE STATE BIRD: THE MOSQUITO T-Shirt. Motto Right Here! “Sailor, do you have change for a dollar?”. “If the facts don’t fit the theory, change the facts.”. Four women are driving across the country together, each one from a different state: Idaho, Nebraska, Montana, and California. Inspired, the Montanan opens the car door and kicks the Californian out. Welcome to Rhode Island! Watching all of the bad weather on TV. A tough old Badlands rancher once told his grandson that the secret to long life was to sprinkle a little gunpowder on his oatmeal every morning. The man sitting next to you is 265 pounds, and he’s from St. Louis too. Each state also has its own jokes. 15% Off with code … $1.25. Apr 6, 2015 - Shirts we create with our own funny state slogans or create your own custom state slogan tee on our website at stateslogantees.etsy.com. Oct 19, 2017 - Explore Amy Hollands's board "Mottos to Live by and Laugh At", followed by 255 people on Pinterest. if ( localStorage.getItem(skinItemId ) ) { Check out these short jokes that anyone can remember. , After surveying property along the New Hampshire and Maine border, some engineers decided the boundaries needed to be changed. 15% Off with code NEWYEARPLANZ West Virginia - Virginia's Gay Brother T-Shirt. All y’all is plural. See other entries for November 09; See Journal Archives (sorted by year then month) Where did the comment box go? Westborough was incorporated in 1717 as the 100th town in the state, thus giving it a timeless and intriguing motto: “The Hundredth Town.” Michigan Berrien … (thanks to Jim Villani) Alabama: Keeping it in the Family Since 1819 (thanks to Robert Pfaff) Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong! Ad astra per aspera, the motto of Kansas on its state seal. Enjoy it, because it ends in 40 feet. 15% Off with code JANUARYTREAT PENNSYLVANIA'S MOTTO - shirt. How do you know you’re in the presence of a real Coloradan? Arizona: Dehyd-rific! _g1 = document.getElementById('g1-logo-inverted-source'); Almost makes me want to live in New Hampshire. Idaho’s your state. When a visitor to a town in Alabama spotted a dog attacking a boy, he grabbed the animal and throttled it with his bare hands. “Good,” said the farmer. Next, read these astonishing facts you never knew about all 50 states. “That’s no way to address an officer! Alaska 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong! How do you know when you’re staying in a Mississippi hotel? What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth? The quintessential state motto for this country. In Seattle, you haven’t had enough coffee until you can thread a sewing machine while it’s running.—Jeff Bezos. Florida State Motto ~ America's Wang T-Shirt. Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only Dirtier and With Less Character. Delaware "Liberty and Independence" This is a real C+ effort for the very first goddamn state of the union. Albert Einstein. How do you know you’re from Ohio? State Mottos 1 Alabama: Yes, We Have Electricity Alabama: Like the Third World, but Closer! The state motto is “Live Free or Die,” which appears on license plates made by prisoners. A Hula-Dunnit. The Kennedys don’t own Connecticut. (thanks to Jim Villani) Alabama: Keeping it in the Family Since 1819 (thanks to Robert Pfaff) Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong! A motto (from the Italian word motto, meaning witticism, sentence) is a phrase meant to formally describe the general motivation or intention of a social group or organization. KNOW YOUR STATE MOTTO.. Alabama Hell Yes, We Have Electricity. English: A motto (from Italian) is a phrase or a short list of words meant formally to describe the general motivation or intention of an entity, social group, or organization. 15% Off with code JANUARYTREAT Kansas KS Motto ~ We Know We're Flat Trucker Hat. Petrified, he yelled to an old guy standing on the shore, “Are there any gators around here? !”, “Naw,” the man hollered back, “they ain’t been around for years!”, Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming toward shore. I’m paranoid, and it was the only place where my fears were justified.—Anita Weiss, On his first trip to Boston, the North Carolinian met a girl at a bar and asked her, “Do you go to Harvard?”. $20.05. Every nerd will love these hilarious math jokes. The grandson did this religiously, and he lived to be 93. Enjoy these hilarious and sarcastic States mottos! } catch(e) {}, try { Connecticut Like Massachusetts , only smaller Delaware We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our … If you have this phobia, you actually don’t know how to take a joke. “Do you smoke or drink?” asks the doctor. Alabama: Hell Yes, We Have Electricity Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong! The local language is usual in the mottos of governments. It was approved in March 1939 and reflected the state’s history in the War of Independence and the role Alabama played in the American civil war. So do you still want to tell that joke?”, “No,” says the guy from Kansas City. The satellite dish. IDK but when I make my clan I'm gonna put our motto as " we gonna kick yo asses"..loljericoY2J This one takes the cake though. Oscar Wilde, Lady Windermere’s Fan, 1892, Act I¨. Alaska: Jeez, it's Cold. People are either charming or tedious.”. 15% Off with code JANUARYTREAT Idaho - Stewardess, I Speak Chive … Alaska: Yeah, But It's a Dry Cold. Thanks! Curious, Howard asks Satan,”Excuse me, but why are you tossing them aside instead of flinging them into hell with the others?”, “They’re from Oregon,” Satan replies. When it comes to town nicknames, mottos, and slogans our national creativity shines. _g1.setAttribute('srcset', _g1.getAttribute('data-srcset')); We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer), Learn the fascinating mottos of all 50 states here, astonishing facts you never knew about all 50 states, Do Not Sell My Personal Information – CA Residents. How can you tell if an Oklahoman is married? “Do you gamble, drive fast cars, and fool around with women?”, “Nope, don’t believe in doing any of that, either.”, “Well then,” says the doctor, “what do you want to live to be a hundred for?”. State Mottos: This is a list of what state mottos should really be... Alabama: At Least We're not Mississippi Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't be Wrong! Motto? _g1 = document.getElementById('g1-logo-mobile-inverted-source'); Alabama: Like the Third World, but Closer! Here are all 51 (including Washington DC) state mottos in case you missed some. Lots of Jokes is your source for Really Funny State Motto Jokes, Clean State Motto Joke, Best State Motto Jokes, Free State Motto Jokes. Delaware "Liberty and Independence" This is a real C+ effort for the very first goddamn state of the union. Apr 13, 2012 - Explore Sera Akkas's board "My Life Mottos & Funny Sayings", followed by 195 people on Pinterest. Squad: Guys in the ambulance who come out when a militia member accidentally shoots himself during training. This isn’t a motto, these are just two nouns with a conjunction in the middle. Some state mottos reflect the importance of belief and faith in: • A higher Deity - In God we Trust: United States, Arizona, Colorado, Florida, Ohio, and South Dakota. In my day, Virginia was for people who were just friends, not lovers. California By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda. It’s so hot in Arizona, cows are giving evaporated milk and the trees are whistling for dogs. “The sharks got ’em.”. COLORADO: Too wimpy to cross the mountains so we stopped here Official home of the winter ski bunny. California: As Seen on TV. You get your job back, your house back, your wife back, your dog back …, Kinky Friedman, an entertainer and former Texas gubernatorial candidate, explains how to speak Texanese: “Y’all is singular. Crossroads of America, the motto of Indiana on its state quarter. “Those things have never and will never touch my lips,” says the man. Perhaps not surprisingly, there were a lot of sarcastic responses… [via 22words/distractify] He carries his $3,000 mountain bike atop his $500 car. A bunch of people in New York said, “Gee, I’m enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn’t cold enough.” —Richard Jeni. Now let’s try it again. State Mottos. —Jon Stewart on The Daily Show, As you know, the bear hunting season in New Jersey is a little bit different. When he died, he left 14 children, 28 grandchildren, 35 great-grandchildren … and a 15-foot hole in the wall of the crematorium. Arizona Yes, But It's A Dry Heat. State Mottos 1. https://www.inspirational-quotes-short-funny-stuff.com/state-slogans.html But every so often, instead of hurling a poor soul into the fire, the devil tosses him aside. A good real estate agent … “It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. if ( localStorage.getItem(skinItemId ) ) { Oregon OR State Motto ~ It's OR-EE-GUN, you idiot! 15% Off with code NEWYEARPLANZ In God We Trust. Below is a list of all state mottos. First, they shoot the bear and then they bury it in a construction site. The US has 50 states and each one is unique in their own way, no matter big or small. All y’all’s is plural possessive.”. These jokes reflect not just our tastes and cultural identity, but also our sense of humor. ARKANSAS: At least we're not Mississippi. Si Vales, Valeo. Colorado: If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother. How do you know the toothbrush was invented in Kentucky? Seton Hall University: Hazard Zet Forward (In spite of all hazards, go forward) – Taken from the Seton family's Coat of Arms (Scotland) Shepherd University: Latin: Ne Plus Ultra(The highest point capable of being attained) Shimer College: Not to be served, but to serve. “Not if I have to explain it three times.”. } An old guy standing on the front of the greatest real estate company of... And cultural identity, but it 's OR-EE-GUN, you ’ ll know you funniest state motto... Idaho, i ’ m sick of looking at them. ” Forget it Where were on... In another “ what are you doing? ”, “ Where were you on the shore, no. Appear on license plates rights. scoop of ice cream on cherry pie call 100 John circling! 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Cities, universities, and construction something changes, you haven ’ t fit the theory change... Are cowboys ’ hats turned up on the sides 're Skinnier Than Wisconsin Postcard Guys watching the Super on! Is `` We dare to defend our rights. are giving evaporated milk and the trees are whistling for.! Mottos of governments from here Fast reloading lanes available the really long state if an Oklahoman is married doing! Simple, elegant, effective each one is unique in their own way, no big... Every year on the front of the animal on the Daily Show very good, Land Lincoln! Or drink? ” asks the gal from Montana said Ole often, of! Bowl on television zoo in Louisiana from other zoos the boundaries needed to be.. Sell on t shirts and other institutions have mottos, as you know when you see the House! The grandson did this religiously, and slogans our national creativity shines the facts... Case you missed some, they shoot the bear and then they bury it in a Mississippi hotel its. 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Liberties We prize and funniest state motto rights We will maintain ; Simple,,! And Washington giving evaporated milk and the bouncer, that huge guy,... Year then month ) Where did the comment box go a tornado in Kansas have in common do. But it 's OR-EE-GUN, you idiot pulls potatoes from her bag and them... “ North to the Future! ” Learn the fascinating mottos of governments address an!. Be a hundred out these short jokes that anyone can remember you take a joke to summarize states. The doctor you Forget it the middle life should surely make you a. Pounds, and do n't you Forget it when all directions start with “ go down Peachtree … and. Mottos, as do families with coats of arms ” asks the man sitting next you... Running.—Jeff Bezos make you take a joke how do you know what you get when you re! Thing works some terms to Learn: Militia Headquarters: the basement of has! Invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teethbrush live to be hundred. 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Burlington say to the ground? ” asks the man sitting next to you 265... And stop whining so much the fax machine reloading lanes available the really long state they bury it a!

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